“So, sir, you can understand how confusing this all really is.”

“Yes, Mr. Bonanafana. My head is all awhirl.”

Said ‘Fana cleared his throat and adjusted his tie for the fourth time. “It seems that now this New Order of Awesomeness is indeed…America’s Biggest Threat.”

The president looked confused. “I thought it was bears.”

“Bears?”

“Yeah, look, read this article I found: http://www.asylum.com/2008/07/24/paranoia-alert-bears-hunting-scientists-and-other-humans. Seems that Stephen Colbert was right all along.”

“Ok…so maybe bears are still #1 threat to America, but this LoA could be climbing the ranks to…America’s Biggest Threat.“

“Right. Proceed.”

“Well, a bunch of people died – more than we have on record – then Stovohobo escaped and found a cave where Yoda and other former ficleteers were practicing the Farce. Then, Krulltar came and started killing those writers, but the writers fought back. Stovo, MBTM , and Bart were trapped in a cave, but Bart found a cave of midgets…”