so.. he can’t die…? kinda? i like it!

Well this was one long spoken paragragh and very beautiful! Grammatically you need to capitalize “you”, change another “you” to your, apostrophe in mothers, throw in some spaces, and quotation marks, and you’ve got perfection! This is romantic, a Romeo and Juliet thing, though very twisted. I mean if they flirt with him, and he isn’t dead, then they die or they betrayed him, but if they flirt with someone else, they will be cursed, though I’m not sure where this curse is coming from, I mean, it is a tattoo.

Ok i fixed em but i couldnt do spaces i ran out

SO like is this why you had me draw those tattoos on a couple a years ago? So you could work this line? If anyone ever sed this to me in a convenience store I would have to assume I was on exceptionally good drugs, and then walk away. Very poetic,and epic and star crossed and broody…

wow, powerful.

i like it so far…

Again I agree with Mistress E. But your story is very discriptive, although it could be tightened up a bit.

Coolest. Monologue. Ever.
At least that I can remember in recent memory.