haha, i really like this one! nice job. i like all the descriptions, very detailed and life like… you can almost feel the awakening then the unconsciousness setting in again!

great use of form to capture the protagonist’s viewpoint! That’s kind of scary, what is happening to him?

This reads like a poem. It’s Intense and disorienting. I especially like how the descriptions are delivered in crisp and flashy scenes. It’s original and cool. Great ficlet.

Very effective and disorienting, though still getting across just enough to avoid it seeming pointless or too confusing to be appreciated. Strong work.

Love the herky jerky feel of the situation.. felt as those I were witnessing it just as it happened.. also sorta like watching a film but missing the first minute of it.

Wow. This is just like a person’s stream of consciousness when they wake up from surgery, or are put to sleep again. Amazing description!

Yeah, its pretty poetic and very descriptive!*