I went to bed that night without getting back on the computer. I decided I’d had too much to think about already, though falling asleep with unsolved problems usually resulted in an uneasy night’s sleep for me…

I had no dreams that night, but I woke up every few hours, my heart pounding for a reason I did not know. Whatever it was, it worried me… I felt endangered, as if I were going to fall back down. I shook my head, forcing the thought from my mind.

After one particular interval of sleep, I woke up at the pleasant hour of ten o’clock, which is around my usual wake-up time. I sat up, but wanted to lay back down as soon as I did. I felt sick, and inside I felt unsupported, for lack of a better word. It was as if something that was holding me up had been removed, and now I teetered delicately on a thin edge.

I pushed back the feeling of nausia and put in my earphones, allowing lyrics to fill my head as I got out of bed.

What if you should decide that you don’t want me there by your side…?