Ooh, dark and moody. Nice establishment of those feelings, and good detail. Good reveal too. The first sentence, while a good hook, confuses me a little with its structure and words. I think it’s a little wordy or something; hard to place.

Wow. You do a great job of setting the mood. Wonderful descriptions. It was slightly confusing exactly what time it was though. Like, was he really doing multiple shots that early in the morning? Since it’s so unusual I might make it clearer. But it’s a wonderful idea with a striking reveal. Well done!