“The monkeys told me I’d find you here.” I said to the Pitt Bull that sat in front of me in the small Chinese town.

“Ah, did they?” responded the dog.

“Yes, they did, I said that already.”

“Well then, you must be the chosen one.”

“Yes, the Grand Monk told me that, when I told him I had a third nipple.”

“Right, that is correct. The Grand Monk would say that.”

“So, what am I to do, Guru?”

“Get me a milkbone, ya three-nippled freak.”

“But, Guru, what purpose does this serve?”

“I get a milkbone. Now go!”

“Yes sir!” I said and walked away. As I did, I thought I heard the sound of padded feet walking away, and the soft mumble of “Idiot.” behind me, but I must’ve imagined it.