When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong: You gon' let that Bigfoot talk to you like that?

You put the call through to Murph.

Minutes later, Murph, eight feet tall, shaggy and pissed off, walks into your cubicle.

“First off: I am not your motherfucking receptionist. You get a call, you take it motherfucker. Or send that shit through to 3297, okay? Second, Bigfoot is a racist word created by the white establishment to keep my people oppressed. Say that shit again, and I will fuck you up. Got it? Third, from what that punk-ass on the phone described, those ain’t Sasquatch attacking Disneyland: they’re fucking Yeti. Abominable Motherfucking Snowmen. Completely different, you racist piece of shit. Do I look like I was born in the Himalayas to you?”


1) Go to the H.R. department and file a formal complaint against Murph for his continued abusive behavior;

or, you:

2) Keep this shit real and beat the fuck out of this Chewbacca-looking motherfucker right then and there for talking shit (even though Murph is twice your size and four times your strength). Handle yo’ biddness, padnuh’!

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