Clever story, with some nice gems (proof, not just not living). But how he is serving penance? How is he going to pay for it? He’s going to beat the rap. Guilt doesn’t seem like it applies to this guy. Is his penance the fact that he has to clean up?

Very good. I agree with Kevin above: quite a few very nice moments, that all seem to hang together into an enjoyable (creepy) whole.

creepy guy, good sequel.

A well-crafted piece. I was curious whether “HW” would be sequeled and what folks might do with it.
(Note that the narrator of “HW” is vague about what he’s disposing of – is it a person, a pet, something else? That was deliberate.)
The amoral narrator of the continuation is a nicely-chilling follow-through. The penance, of course, is payment for the fun he had in the crimes committed against his victim.
(more…)

(…continued)
I’d like to see where this piece goes and/or to see possible forks for “HW.” I may even build on “HW” myself in a day or so after seeing what others might add.

Thank you very much for an excellent sequel.

Thank you, guys. I’m all smiley now.

Note that the narrator of “HWâ€? is vague about what he’s disposing of – is it a person, a pet, something else? That was deliberate – Howie
~
So it’s probably kind of twisted that the only thing I thought it could possibly be was a human. Eesh.

At first I thought the killing was the penance for the sex, but it does seem like the cleaning, disposing of body and more cleaning is seen as a penance by the narrator. Creepy, creepy fun.

So it’s probably kind of twisted that the only thing I thought it could possibly be was a human. Eesh.
Not at all: most of the possibilities in the back of my own mind involved people, and the strong suggestion is in the piece itself. You chose one of the possibilities I entertained myself, and handled it better than I might have.

The penance, of course, is payment for the fun he had in the crimes committed against his victim.—Howie

Yes, I understand what the penance is for, but what is his penance? It’s neither guilt, nor capture, at least as I read the story.

The penance is the hard labor of cleanup, continuing the theme in “HW” (in which the narrator calls digging a flooding hole in soft mud penance (what the penance is for is deliberately left vague in “HW”).
Capture might lead to penance, but wouldn’t be penance (“a punishment undergone in token of penitence for sin”).
Finally, there are clues in “HW/2” that we have an unreliable narrator: his idea of “penance” might be our idea of “that’s what you get and I hope they catch you, you psychotic loon!”

Very dark and descriptive. I like it, especially the first two paragraphs.

Alexa – you seem like a nice gal, but let’s face it – you have a dark side… We all do. I think you’ve found it here. Maybe you should turn to the dark side and start writing horror and thriller? This is some dark stuff. The way you used adorable? You should embrace this ficlet and expand upon it – I mean it. Look for a YodaOnCrack Halloween / Thriller challenge in the near future! This should be a featured ficlet.

Perfection in art, loved it.