I like what you took from the picture. The whole ficlet continually raises questions; I think the present tense and interesting verbs make it better. The only problem I see is the clumped paragraphs. It’s so much more easy on the eyes to read when it has a double-space between the paragraphs, and it really doesn’t take up as much characters as people say.

oooh, i like this. i like the descritions and it all flows really well. The picture is amazing to boot. =)

Well, it looks like everyone else has beaten me to everything that I was going to say. And once again all I say is, “I agree.”

Well, it looks like everyone else has beaten me to everything that I was going to say. And once again all I say is, “I agree.”